In Your Heart - Smeltzer Micalea - Страница 6
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But also the truth.
The life I’d had was no more. From this point forward things were going to be different. My future was now heading down a new path.
One for the better.
But I knew I would stumble and fall before this path felt like the right one.
I eased out of the bed, the TV in the room now off. I hadn’t turned it off so Ezra must’ve checked on me before he went to bed.
I opened the bedroom door and stepped out into the hall.
It was early, around seven, but Ezra was already up.
The bathroom mirror was still slightly fogged so I knew he’d already taken a shower and from the sounds of cabinets banging downstairs he was making breakfast.
I brushed my teeth and hair, braiding it on the side so it rested against my collarbone. I had no makeup with me and my skin looked pale with purple rings beneath my eyes. I hoped I didn’t scare Ezra.
I dressed in my clothes from yesterday, silently squirming at the fact that they were dirty, but I knew I’d get my stuff today.
I padded down the stairs and rounded the corner, smiling at Ezra.
“Morning,” I said, feigning cheer.
Ezra glanced over his shoulder where he stood at the stove making scrambled eggs. He was already dressed for the day in a pair of jeans and a heather gray t-shirt. His black hair was still damp from the shower, one curl sticking to his forehead.
“Hey. I’m almost done with this.”
“You didn’t need to make me breakfast.” I walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed the bottle of orange juice and then the glasses from the cabinet by the sink.
Ezra shrugged, sliding the eggs onto the plates and topping both with a sprinkle of cheddar cheese just the way I liked. Toast popped up from the toaster and he added it to the plate.
“It was no big deal.”
“Don’t dismiss your kindness so easily,” I told him, setting our glasses down on the table. He’d already put out paper napkins and utensils.
He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye as he sat the plates down. “It’s breakfast, Sadie,” he chuckled, “it’s not a kitten.”
“Does that mean you got me a kitten?” I joked.
His lips quirked into a smile. “No kitten. Sorry.”
“Darn,” I tsked, reaching for the fork.
Ezra sat down and began to eat, keeping a careful eye on me like he was waiting for any signs of an imminent breakdown.
“I’m okay,” I assured him, piercing a piece of egg, “I’m not going to crack.”
“It would be the normal thing,” he argued.
I stared across the table at him. “I’m not normal.”
“No, you’re not,” he agreed, “but it’s okay to break.”
I leaned forward, lowering my voice like I was letting him in on a secret. “I might bend, but I will not break. Not because of this at least.”
His dark eyes seared into me and he nodded once.
He returned to his food and I sat back once more.
“I thought we would eat and then go get your things.”
I glanced at the old-fashioned cuckoo clock—a quirky gift I’d bought him as a joke. “Braden won’t be up until at least ten.”
He gave me a disgusted look and spat, “Do I look like I give a fuck?”
I fought a smile at his use of the word fuck. Ezra wasn’t one to curse a lot. That was usually left to Mathias—the lead singer of the band.
I shrugged. “I just want you to be prepared to deal with his wrath.”
His brown eyes narrowed on me like laser beams. “He should be the one prepared to deal with me.”
“Are you going to punch him again?” I asked, recalling their last encounter.
“I’m not planning on it,” he violently speared an egg like he wished it was Braden he was stabbing, “the last thing I want to do is stoop to his level again, but I might be unable to control myself.”
“Well, if you do punch him make sure you punch the right side of his face.”
Ezra’s brow wrinkled with confusion and he flicked a stray curl from his eyes. “Why the right side?”
“Because he thinks it’s his good side.”
Ezra snorted and shook his head. “The guy has no good side. He’s ugly through and through.”
I nodded in agreement, glaring down at my food.
“Sadie,” his voice was soft, “there’s nothing wrong with you for not realizing how bad he was.”
“I know,” I replied softly.
The look he gave me clearly said he didn’t think that I did know.
He finished eating and I gathered our plates to clean them.
As I ran water in the sink I felt him standing near my back but I refused to acknowledge his presence.
Eventually he spoke. “You don’t have to do the dishes you know.”
“I want to help,” I shrugged, rinsing a plate, “I don’t expect to stay here scot-free. I’ll help out.”
“You know I’d never ask that of you.”
I spared him a glance. “And I don’t want to be a charity case.”
He sighed heavily, his chest expanding as he let out a breath. “I have a maid, so don’t start trying to clean the floor with a toothbrush or something,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.
I fought a smile. “I’ll stay away from the toothbrushes then.”
“I mean it,” he warned, pointing a finger at me, “you don’t need to do anything.”
I turned the water off and opened the dishwasher so I could place the dirty plates and cups on the rack.
“Ezra,” I started, “this makes me feel better.”
He looked like he wanted to argue with me, but he surprised me by saying, “Alright. Fine. Whatever.”
I nodded my head in thanks.
I closed the dishwasher and he grabbed his keys off the kitchen island. “Are you ready to go then?”
“Yeah,” I said, even though ready was the last thing I felt. I didn’t want to face Braden. I never wanted to see him again.
I also knew that today I would have to call my parents and Emma, break the news to them that my engagement was no more and the wedding was off. I would also have to call and cancel everything to do with the wedding. I didn’t want to deal with any of those things, but I couldn’t ignore my responsibilities.
I followed Ezra outside, the front porch steps creaking as we stepped down. I liked that he hadn’t fixed the creaky floors in the cottage. It was things like that, that gave a place character and charm.
Above us the summer sun already shined brightly, promising a day of scorching temperatures. The Virginia summers could be brutal, the humidity alone was enough to kill you, not to mention the bugs. I would never survive living somewhere further south.
Ezra opened the garage door and I tried to ignore the way he watched me—still waiting for another breakdown.
I kept my shoulders back and my chin held high.
I was fine.
I was fine.
I was fine.
Maybe if I repeated it enough I would start to believe it.
Not likely, but it was worth a shot.
While I was having my internal debate Ezra unlocked the SUV.
“Are you coming?” He asked, opening the driver’s door and looking back at where I stood.
“Yeah.” I shook my head free of my thoughts and joined him.
We were silent on the drive over to Braden’s apartment. The radio provided background noise, but it wasn’t loud enough to drown out my racing thoughts as I imagined all of the different ways this meeting with Braden could go.
None of them were good.
On the way, Ezra stopped by the office supplies store and picked up some boxes. I hadn’t even thought of that.
When we arrived at the apartment Braden’s truck was nowhere to be seen in the parking lot. I said a silent thanks to whatever god or deity had been on my side today.
Ezra glanced over at me. “This is it.”
It was, in more ways than one.
I nodded, reaching for the handle and stepping out of the vehicle.
I trudged slowly up the steps and stopped in front of the door, letting out a string of colorful curses.
“What is it?” Ezra asked, fighting a smile as I kicked the door.
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