In Your Heart - Smeltzer Micalea - Страница 5

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“I was a teenager then. I grew up,” I defended, his words stinging me.

He shook his head, looking at me pityingly. “No, it’s more than that.”

I knew he was right, but that didn’t make it hurt any less to have him point it out to me. Reluctantly I mumbled, “Yeah, I know. You’re right.”

“We’re going to change that,” he stated. He tilted his head to the side, daring me to contradict him.

“How?” I asked, not even bothering to hide the challenging tone in my voice.

He tapped his lips. “I don’t know yet, but I’m going to figure it out.”

I believed him.

In fact, I always believed in Ezra, because he’d never let me down.

We grew quiet as we finished our dinner. I offered to wash the dishes, but he refused my help and I reluctantly settled on the couch.

Ezra joined me a little bit later, turning on the TV and settling into the chair.

The silence between us should’ve been awkward since we hadn’t seen each other in so long, but it wasn’t. In fact, it was like no time at all had passed.

I let out a heavy sigh, suddenly feeling exhausted. It wasn’t even eight o’ clock yet and I felt like I could pass out asleep any second.

At my sigh Ezra cast his dark eyes in my direction. “Tired?” He asked, the corners of his mouth wrinkling with concern.

I nodded. “Yeah, I think I’m going to go to bed.” I stood up, as if to do that and my face crumbled with the realization that I had no clothes, no toothbrush, nothing. “I don’t have any of my stuff,” I sniffled.

“Sadie,” Ezra’s eyes darkened with worry, “we can get your stuff tomorrow. We’ll make do for tonight.”

“Right.” I nodded, rubbing a hand over my face. I couldn’t believe I didn’t have anything. Not even my purse. I’d been so distracted by my anger, and then getting arrested that I hadn’t even thought about all my shit at Braden’s place. I really hoped that tramp didn’t do anything with my stuff.

“Sadie,” his eyes narrowed on me as he repeated my name, “are you sure you’re okay?”

I wrapped my arms around myself, my eyes shifting to the stairway. “No,” my lips began to tremble, “I’m not.”

I wanted to be okay. I knew I was better off without that asshole and should’ve dumped him a long time ago, but it still hurt. I might not have been in love with him like I thought I was, but I had loved him in some way or I wouldn’t have been with him.

Ezra didn’t say anything. He simply stood up and wrapped his arms around me. I didn’t return the embrace at first, but slowly I wrapped my arms around his lean chest. I inhaled his familiar woodsy scent as my tears stained his white t-shirt.

“This is the beginning of new and better things,” he vowed.

I nodded against his chest.

Taking a step back I dried my tears with the back of my hand, silently vowing that they’d be the last tears I cried over Braden. He wasn’t worth my sorrow.

Ezra stared down at me, his eyes raking over my face as he looked for any signs of another imminent breakdown.

“I’m okay,” I assured him. “I just needed to cry again.”

“And that’s fine,” he reached out, wiping away a tear I had missed, “tears aren’t a sign of weakness, but of strength of the heart. They show you care and caring is never a bad thing.”

“Even when it gets you hurt?” I questioned, leaning my head back to look up at him. At six-foot Ezra was much taller than me.

“Even then.” He nodded at his words like he was agreeing with them. He turned for the stairs. “Come on, I’ll let you borrow a shirt to sleep in. I have some extra toothbrushes too.”

I followed him upstairs and stood awkwardly in the doorway of his bedroom.

He opened his dresser drawer, rifling through it and procuring a plain black t-shirt. His heavy boots clapped against the creaking hardwood floors. “Here,” he held the shirt out for me.

“Thanks.” I mustered a genuine smile for him as I followed him down the short hallway into the bathroom. He grabbed an unopened blue toothbrush from beneath the sink and gave me that as well.

“If you want to shower you can use my soap. I don’t care.”

I nodded. “A shower would be nice.”

He cleared his throat and stepped out of the bathroom. “You know where the guestroom is, and I’ll be downstairs for a while if you need me.”

I nodded, sliding the door closed. “Thanks for everything, Ezra.”

“Anytime.” He nodded his head once and then bound down the steps.

I closed the bathroom door completely and laid the shirt on the shiny marble countertop. I turned on the shower, letting the water grow warm before stripping out of my clothes.

I stepped beneath the spray and the heat began to work out the tension in my coiled muscles. An audible sigh of relief passed through my lips.

I didn’t bother washing my hair—not wanting to deal with the tangled nightmare it would become if I didn’t use conditioner—but I used Ezra’s soap to wash my body. It smelled like mahogany with hints of oranges, nothing like the coconut-scented body wash I usually used.

I turned the shower off and grabbed a clean towel, drying off my body. I returned the towel to the rack and shrugged into the t-shirt. It fell to the center of my thighs and was incredibly soft. I knew that even though it was a plain t-shirt it probably cost more than my car payment.

I had a ponytail holder on my wrist and I used it to pull my hair back while I scrubbed my face clear of makeup.

I gathered up my clothes and opened the bathroom door, promptly bumping into Ezra as he topped the stairs.

“Sorry,” he grabbed my arms, righting me from my stumble, “I wanted to check on you.”

“I’m fine,” I assured him, edging towards the bedroom.

He stared at me for a moment, dissecting my words and trying to find the truth in them.

“Yeah, okay,” he finally mumbled, starting back down the stairs. “Good night,” he called.

“Night,” I said back, but it was merely a whisper and I doubt he even heard it.

I stepped into the guestroom and closed the door behind me.

The room was small, but cozy. The walls were painted a pale yellow with white furniture and soft gray bedding. I’d helped Ezra decorate it. In fact, he’d asked for my opinion on lots of things when he’d been renovating the cottage. He’d fussed that he was a guy and had no idea what matched and what didn’t. I’d loved helping him.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, running my fingers over the silky fabric of the bedspread. I’d missed out on a lot these past six months. Not just with Ezra, but with Emma as well. She’d gone on tour with the band and we’d hardly been able to talk. I’d become so out of the loop, and I couldn’t help wondering if that was something Braden wanted. He’d always hated it when I spent any time with someone that wasn’t him.

With a groan I stood up, pulling back the bed covers and climbing beneath.

I reached for the remote, turning on the small TV and keeping the volume low for background noise in the hopes that it would help muffle my racing thoughts.

I turned on my side, facing the window that overlooked the lake. It was completely dark, no moon in sight, but out this far in the country I could still see the twinkle of stars.

I closed my eyes, wishing upon a star—wishing for happiness and most importantly wishing that I would find my true love.

I WOKE UP, struggling to understand my surroundings. The room wasn’t familiar and there was nobody lying beside me.

It all came rushing back to me and I lowered my head in my hands.

In my dreams I’d been able to believe it wasn’t real, simply a figment of my imagination, but with the sunlight streaming into the room that wasn’t mine I couldn’t deny the truth.

My life felt seemingly over.

Melodramatic? Yes.

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