Faking It - Crusie Jennifer - Страница 8

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TILDA PULLED HER FOOT from under the duffel bag he dropped under the table. “Do I know you?”

“Yep.” He settled into the booth. “You stuck your tongue down my throat about an hour ago. Did I thank you for that?”

She squinted at him through her glasses. At first glance, he was average looking, a mild-mannered, dark-haired, Clark Kent kind of guy with horn-rimmed glasses in a beat-up nothing-colored jacket; the only notable thing about him was Andrew’s “Bitch” baseball cap that he’d swiped from her back at Clea’s.

On second glance, the glint in his eye and the set of his jaw made her twitch.

“Did you want this?” he said and she felt something bump her leg under the table.

When she reached down, she felt paper wrapping and under that, the edge of a painting, and the relief that rolled over her was so intense that she closed her eyes. “Thank you. I forgive you for everything.”

“Everything what?” he said. “Saving your butt?”

“For mugging me in a closet.” One corner of the paper was torn back, and Tilda could see the stars in the checkerboard sky beneath it. Definitely her stars. Thank you, thank you.

“You jumped me,” he was saying. “I was there first. Technically, it was my closet, Vilma.”

“Who’s Vilma?” Tilda said, her interest in his glint diminishing.

“Nobody watches the late movies anymore. I blame cable.”

Oh, good, he was colorful. Tilda smiled at him brightly. “Well, gee, this has been great. Thanks for all your help.” She started to slide out of the booth and he put his foot on the bench, trapping her.

“Hold it,” he said. “You owe me. Who are you and why were you hitting Clea’s closet?”

“No,” Tilda said and pushed at his foot.

“Yes,” he said, keeping his foot where it was.

“If I create a scene,” she began and then stopped as she saw the problem. She was sitting in a booth with a hot painting. She couldn’t afford a scene. Somebody would come up and say, “What is that?” and then she’d have to explain, and anything was better than talking about the Scarlets, anything, even this yahoo and his glint.

“There you go,” he said. “The good news is, I don’t care what you’re up to, I just want information. Who are you and-”

The waitress came by with the coffeepot, and he shrank into his jacket a little more. “Hamburger?” he said to her, and she took out her pad without even looking at him. If anybody asked tomorrow, she wouldn’t remember a thing about him, which was amazing because he really was a piece of work. “Coffee,” he said. The waitress nodded, put her pad back in her apron pocket, topped up Tilda’s cup and left, still not looking at him.

“Now,” he said to Tilda. “Your name.”

Tilda sat back and thought fast. “Call me Vilma. The painting is mine. Mrs. Lewis took it and wouldn’t give it back, so I had to go in and get it.”

“She stole it?” he said. “That doesn’t sound like her.”

“She bought it,” Tilda said, “but she didn’t pay for it.”

“That sounds like her,” he said and Tilda thought, You know her well. Her thoughts of Clea, never warm to begin with, grew colder.

“So who are you?” she said. “And what were you doing there?”

“I’m a consultant for an elite law enforcement agency,” he said, looking at her over the top of his horn-rims. “Call me Bond. James -”

“Funny,” Tilda said.

The waitress brought his coffee, and when she was gone, he said, “So why didn’t you call the police?”

“That would be so unpleasant.” Tilda lifted her chin. “And she could say she had the painting on approval.”

“So you turned to B and E to avoid the unpleasantness.” He nodded. “We’ll come back to that. Who taped the door for you?”

“What?” Tilda said, widening her eyes the way Gwen and Eve always did when they wanted to look innocent.

He snapped his fingers. “Betty Boop.”

“What?” Tilda said again, this time for real.

“That’s who you remind me of. Curly hair, bug eyes, Kewpie-doll mouth. My sister dressed up like her for Halloween once.”

“Fascinating,” Tilda said, her eyebrows snapping together over the “bug eyes” part. “Can I go now?”

“No, Betty, you can’t. When I got to Clea’s, I tried the doors and they were all locked except one at the side. The latch was taped down so it wouldn’t lock. Who did that for you?”

“I have no idea what-”

“Betty, you can stop lying. I just want to know who you know on the inside so I can know him, too.”

The waitress brought his hamburger and slapped the check on the table and then wandered off again.

“I don’t know anybody inside,” Tilda said as he began to work his way through the sandwich at the speed of light. “I went in during the day and taped it.”

He looked at her over the top of his glasses and she stopped. “Here’s some advice,” he said, threat palpable in his tone. “Don’t lie to me. It’s a waste of your time and my patience.”

“Oh, please,” Tilda said, unimpressed.

He nodded and bit into the hamburger again. “That tough stuff never works for me,” he said when he’d swallowed, his voice light again. “Which is odd because I really can be a bastard.”

He smiled at her, and Tilda saw menace in his eyes and felt her throat close up.

“Want to push your luck?” he said.

“No,” Tilda said. “Okay, here’s the truth. Somebody taped it for me but that person does not work inside. I don’t think anybody works there. I think it’s just Mason Phipps and Clea Lewis, and I don’t think there’s any time when the house is empty for sure.”

He sat back and regarded her with something that might have passed for approval. “So you set up a dinner party. Not stupid.”

“Thank you.” Tilda tapped his shoe. “May I go now?”

“No,” he said, not moving his foot. “Clea bought the painting from you. Why?”

“No idea,” Tilda said. “I guess she liked it.”

“Why do you have to have it back?”

“No,” Tilda said. “That will not help you.”

“And yet I feel sure it would.” He pushed his empty plate away, and Tilda blinked her surprise. He must have been starving to inhale a hamburger like that. “Let’s take this from the top.”

“Let’s not.” Tilda sat up straighten “Look, I know you’ve got me, but I have no connection with Clea Lewis, I’ve never even met her, and I’m done telling you things.” She stuck out her chin. “So if that’s not enough, go ahead and turn me in.”

He looked at her sadly. “Betty, I am not the kind of guy who turns people in.” Then he stopped, as if he’d remembered something. “Well, I’m not the kind of guy who turns people like you in.” He picked up his coffee cup and smiled at her.

“Thank you,” Tilda said, ignoring the little leap her pulse gave. “You’re a real prince. Move your foot.”

He sipped his coffee, never taking his eyes off her. “You’re not a thief. You’d starve to death trying to steal for a living, and you clearly haven’t been starving.”

“Hey,” Tilda said.

“That wasn’t an insult. That was an observation made while bouncing you on the carpet.” He moved his foot off the seat and slid out of the booth, taking off Andrew’s baseball cap and dropping it crookedly on her head as he went. “Okay, this conversation is not over.” He reached under the table for the duffel bag. “Stay here, Betty. When I get back, we’re going to start all over again.”

Oh, no we’re not, Tilda thought and watched him go toward the back, his shoulders hunched, unremarkable. She straightened her cap as he turned into the hall where the restrooms were, gave him an extra minute to be sure, and then slid out of the booth and headed for the door, the painting clutched firmly under her arm.

The waitress caught her on the way out. “Wait a minute. Who’s paying for the hamburger?”

“He is,” Tilda said.

“He’s gone,” the waitress said, blocking her way. “Went out the back door.”

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