Alice: The Girl From Earth - Булычев Кир - Страница 31

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“But we have so few joys left in life, so few pleasures.” The little green man said, not listening to Poloskov. “And we have never tasted pineapples before. I, for example, will now, every day, go back to yesterday so I can finish eating the pineapple which I ate yesterday…”

For a while the two of us were silent, mulling the information over in our heads. Then the Sheshinerian sighed and said:

“I can’t stand it any more. I am going into the past to finish eating your marvelous pineapple.”

“Wait up.” I stopped him. “I have a question, a business question.”

“Better you don’t ask it at all.” The little green man said. “I already know what you will ask.”

“Oh, yes…” I said.

“You will ask about an animal called the Skliss, which was the reason you came here?”

“Naturally.”

“We can get you a hundred Sklisses, but you wouldn’t want them. You will take a look at one that’s just around the corner. You will then wave your hands in frustration and you will say: ‘But that’s just an ordinary cow!’

We looked around the corner. There was a cow there.

I waved my hands in frustration and said: “But that’s just an ordinary cow!”

“Told you so.”

Then the little green man said his good byes and left more precisely, he vanished into thin air because that was what all the inhabitants of this planet did, so he did not see what happened next, and all his ability to look into the future and into the past helped him not at all, for we took that cow with us and brought it back to the Moscow Zoo, and even today it is one of our most popular exhibits.

As soon as our little green guide vanished, the cow stretched and slowly got to its feet, and unfurled long, membranous wings which until then it had wrapped around its belly. The cow sighed and looked at us with large, sad eyes, stretched out its wings and raised a cloud of dust, jumped up with clattering hooves and flew to the other side of the street.

The Skliss flew like a cow, badly and clumsily, but the Skliss really did fly!

I asked a green skinned little boy who had unexpectedly appeared right next to us.

“Whose cow is that?”

“You mean the Skliss?” The kid asked.

“Well of course, yes, whose Skliss is that?”

“It’s no ones’.” The kid said. “Who needs a Skliss? It’s totally impossible to herd them and they just fly about. Take one, no one cares.”

So we set off for the Pegasus, chasing the Skliss ahead of us with a long stick of wood. From time to time the Skliss would fly up into the air but it very quckly grew tired and returned to the ground and a lazy trot.

Along the way we picked up another Skliss who wanted to come along, but we couldn’t take it with us; feeding even one such animal would be rather difficult. The Skliss mooed for a long time in disappointment and waved its tail back and forth.

Alice returned shortly after we did. She had become bored with the Sheshinerians. They, in turn, quickly forgot all about her and vanished, some into the past, and some into the near future.

“Well now,” Poloskov said when he had lifted from the planet where we had lost of entire stock of pineapples. “I’m for setting a direct course for the Medusa System. Any objections?”

No one objected. I would have liked to have objected, but Alice gave me such a look that I said:

“When we’re in flight the Captain is in charge. Whatever Poloskov says, that’s what will be done.”

“Then there is nothing further to delay us.” Poloskov said.

But two days later we found ourselves delayed again when we were forced to change course. The Pegasus’s on-board subspace radio had picked up an SOS.

“Where’s it from?” I asked Poloskov.

“I’ll let you know in a moment.” Our captain said. He was hunched over the receiver.

I sat down on an empty chair on the bridge, deciding to use the time to get some rest. I had been tired since morning. The Empathicator had an upset stomach, and he kept changing colors, like a traffic signal on a busy intersection.

I sat down on am empty seat on the bridge, deciding to take a minute to get some rest. I had been working since morning and I was exhausted. The Empathicator had an upset stomach, and it was changing colors like a traffic sign on a busy intersection..

The Sewing Spider had completely run out of raw materials for his work and had reached into the next cage where the Snook lay sleeping and saved off all his long fur so that I no longer recognized the Snook. As a result of his nakedness the Snook had caught a cold and was coughing up and down the hold. I had to place him in isolation.. The Blabberyap bird had spent thee night muttering in some incomprehensible language, scratching and screeching like an ungreased cart. He got the hot milk and soda treatment. The wander bushes had spent the night arguing over creamed stones and the littlest had suffered numerous broken branches. The diamond backed turtle had used the sharp facets on his shell to cut a hold in the door leading to the engine room, and I had been again forced to clamp him in the safe.

I was tired, but I knew that you always had such problems when transport a collection of rare animals. All these sicknesses, unpleasantries, fights and conflicts were nothing at all compared to the problem of feeding them.

In truth Alice had been helping me, but she had overslept and I had been forced to do the morning feed myself.

It was all very well that the animals were not too many and the majority of them could breathe terrestrial atmosphere. I had been forced to place a heater only under the enclosure with the Beelzabeetles, which was normal since they lived in volcanoes…

“It’s all clear.” I heard Poloskov’s voice.

What was he talking about. Ah, yes, I had been lost in thought and had completely forgotten we had received a disaster signal.

“The signal comes from the planet Eyeron. What could possibly have happened there?”

Poloskov opened the last volume of our copy of The Guide to the Planets and read aloud:

“Planet Eyeron. Discovered by a Fyxxian expedition. Occupied by a metallic culture of comparatively low level. It is hypothesized that the inhabitants of the planet are the decedents of robots left behind by some unknown space ship. They are straight forward and hospitable. However, very capricious and touchy. The planet is lacking in useful fossil fuels. There is no uncontaminated water. There is no breathable atmosphere. There is nothing at all on the planet. If there had been the robots would have wasted it all and now live in poverty.’

“SOS,” the subspace radio receiver blared. “We have an epidemic. Request aid.”

“We’ll have to divert.” Poloskov sighed. “We can’t ignore sapient beings in distress.”

So we changed course for the planet Eyeron.

Only when we could already see the grey, airless mountains and sea-bottoms of the planetary sphere from space was Poloskov finally able to make contact with the local dispatcher.

“What exactly is going on here?” He asked. “What sort of aid can we offer you?”

“We have an epidemic….” The voice hissed from the speaker. “We are all sick. We need a doctor.”

“A doctor?” Poloskov was surprised. “But certainly you are a metallic species. Wouldn’t it rather be a mechanic that you want?”

“Perhaps a mechanic as well.” The voice agreed from Eyeron. “But definitely a doctor.”

We set down on a flat, dusty, empty field that served as the space port. It had been a long time since a ship had set down here.

When the dust settled we lowered the gangway and rolled out the ATV. Poloskov remained on the ship, while Zeleny, Alice and I headed toward the long, low, boring building of the space port terminal. Neither spirits nor shadows surrounded us. If he had not just been talking with someone, no one would have guessed this planet held any living beings. On the road lay the discarded rusty leg of a robot. Then a wheel with torn out spokes.

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